I JUST WANT TO PAINT

Being a solo entrepreneur often means that you spend big chunk of your time thinking about marketing, promotion, keeping your brand alive, your income steady etc etc… it is challenging and exhausting at times but it’s never-ending task that needs to be done. 

I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy and the general lack of energy of 3rd trimester, or the ‘I don’t give fk I just wanna paint’ attitude or maybe occasional ‘nobody needs my work anyway’ voice of self doubt but… this would be the time I’d usually start talking about new body of work release date but I’m not gonna ;). 

Not this time. This time all I care is ‘do I have enough stretched canvas for tomorrow’ ? ‘Should I finally teach my assistant to stretched it the way I like it’ ;)? I simply want to paint for as long as I can, don’t think too much, don’t analyse too much just me and the paints. I’m doing this for many years now, and I had my (yet another) hindsight moment lately where my dots connected. I saw all the learning curves, all the drama, all the ruined canvas, all the ‘I hate that sh*t’ days where progress felt like failure.

After the residency which was a big deal to me I had a break in the habit that I was looking for for a while! It happened exactly as my friend Merritt said it will all fall into places days and weeks after the residency is over.

This is also how our brains work, how our learning is happening it needs time to settle in. We need time. My love for colour mixing and colour exploration continues and is so satisfying. Believing in my own journey and your process was a key to my progress.

to be continue later today need to feed my cats now 😉